I Stopped Filling the Gaps

I am someone that values harmony and I have been intentional with creating spaces that allow for harmony to exist. To create these spaces, I lead with an open heart and prioritize honest conversation.

My heart has been the constant causality in my relationships and leadership development. I am still learning how to show up authentically as myself while protecting my soul and it has not been easy, but I feel that I have made progress.

This journey began on the Winter Solstice in December, and I wrote 13 intentions that were written at state of being instead of goals. I made the decision that I was going to burn 7 and keep 6 as a trust exercise. My hope was that it would help me not assume responsibility of everything happening around me and give me opportunity to let go.

The 6 intentions that I kept were taped into my journal and I try to read them once a week. I read the 6 other intentions before burning them and did not try to remember them because I wanted to trust that the universe, God, a higher power would honor these and support me through them in 2026.

The story gets interesting when I reached into my bag searching for a pen and pulled out the 13th intention that I thought I had burned and it said, "I honor boundaries without withdrawing". Reading this sent shivers down my spine because the challenges I was facing in that moment were coming from all directions; family, friends, work my own thoughts...I was in too deep.

It caused me to pause... I can show up and still have boundaries. Historically I have removed parts of my life that I could not manage effectively or that I felt were damaging. I was constantly playing offense and building systems around myself to remove myself from those situations.

I am learning that I have leveled up because I am now faced with scenarios where I am unable to step away and have to find new strategies to create these boundaries. Instead of playing offense I am switching to defense and standing my ground. This has required me to be bold with my requests and standing strong in my identity.

I am finding a new version of myself. She is still kind, but direct and assertive. She is honest and solution oriented. She is patient but timely with her feedback. I am connecting with others despite my discomfort with my own vulnerability. I am building a community that aligns and respects me without having to fight for it.

As someone that has struggled with chronic loneliness this is such an exciting chapter to be entering. I have spent less time filling the gaps of loss and more time creating space to build opportunity. In this new space I am receiving clarity in ways I have never experienced before. It has been an incredible challenge, but I am looking forward to seeing the evolved version of myself that I become.

Until Next Time

x.o Em